Wednesday, February 27, 2008

So the next part of my tranformation was...

Being set free from spiritual bondage. You see, I had a problem from about the age of 15, with promiscuity. I was never taught that you should wait for marriage to have sex, noone EVER told me that fornication was wrong. But God says that it is and if you don't believe me:
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 1Cor6:18
God's Word is true even if you do not know it. Just because you do not serve Him, or believe His Words or His commandments does not mean that that makes them not BE. So, while I was out committing sexual sin, the enemy, or satan, was putting me in spiritual bondage, i.e. demonic bondage. Satan only has a right to attack us if we are in direct opposition to God's Word and I was.

I had decided in the summer of '97(I think it was '97!) that I couldn't be a good christian so I gave up and went back to a life that I was familiar with. The only problem with that was that I was a new creature in Christ Jesus and no amount of going back would change that fact. Try as I might I was not able to "fit" in with my old crowd! However, that did not deter me. I kept on(did I mention that I can be stubborn?!). Satan took it upon himself to deceive me, he brought a man into my life and literally, very audibly spoke into my ear that "this was my husband". I was shocked and excited and I thought that that HAD to be God!!! However I did not know Gods still small voice during that part of my walk or lack of my walk. So, I married this man, I did not love him, but oh how he professed to love me. I tried sooooo hard to love him, I thought that my family loves him and he loves me that should be enough. Eventually, I could not lie to him, myself, and my family and friends anymore, I had to tell them that I had made ANOTHER mistake. During this time the Lord had been wooing me with His Holy Spirit, whispering to me that I needed to come back to Him. He would love me no matter what that all I needed to do was come back--repent and turn away.

That time in my walk is a time that I have tried desperately to shove way down into a dark pit, so that I won't have to feel the pain of the treacherous mistakes that I made. I very seldom share this part of my testimony, out of shame I suppose. The Lord told me I must for His Glory, because I have been abundantly blessed, much like the prodigal son.

So, I told this man that I had joined myself together with that I did not love him, that I never had felt any type of emotion other than friendship for him and that I wanted to get a divorce. Now lest you see that I made this decision in haste, I PRAYED and agonized over my situation for a VERY longtime. I searched the Word, poured over it, consulted mature Christians that God had placed in my path, went to the pastors at the church that I attended, you name it I did it, but in the end it was just me alone with God. There is a scripture that we use ALL the time that I guess most of us miss the first part, at least I had:
What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. Matt19:6b
God had not joined us together. We had put ourselves together. Do not think that I am OK with divorce, I am not. The Word of God is very clear on this issue. God is also clear on the issue of Him joining man and woman. I believe that there is a perfect someone for everyone, God made each of us a husband and visa versa. I know this only because He has shown me.

OK, so during this terrible time of emotional and spiritual upheaval in my life some friends(christian) of mine had mentioned that I needed to meet this woman that they knew. She was a christian woman who the Lord used in the gifting of word of knowledge and deliverance from spiritual bondage. I had ignored them until one day I woke up and I KNEW that I had to meet her, so I called my friend.

I met this woman, Nita, at my friends house, I saw a peace in her that I wanted, a kindness, a gentleness--I saw Jesus. The Lord started out by using Nita to tell me some personal things that no one would know, heart things(not physical things) stuff that I had thought and felt but never shared with anyone, only God could have known. Then she asked me if I would like to be free from a demon spirit that I was in bondage to, I said "what? of course I don't want a demon on me." So, she prayed for me and took authority over that spirit in Jesus Name rebuking it and told it to leave. I am telling you that that was one of the most AWESOME things that has happened to me in my walk. It was like I could suddenly think clear, there was a VERY dark cloud that left. I felt joy and peace and warmth! It was amazing! That night I went right to sleep, I had trouble falling asleep in the past with racing thoughts of insignificant things going through my head, but now those thoughts were gone! And they have NEVER come back! Praise be to God! Jesus Christ came to set the captives free!!!! And I was free indeed!

This bondage that I had accumulated was because of sexual sin. It was a demon that also caused me to lust in a sexual manner among other types of lust. The biggest change that I noticed right away was that I did not have a driving desire to be in a sexual relationship. I no longer HAD TO HAVE a male to make me feel worth something. It is very hard to explain, but the obsession that satan and his demons make you feel for ungodly things is VERY overwhelming and hard to stop yourself from doing. They always make your fleshly desires stronger almost superhuman strong(not in a good way either because they want you to sin so that you won't ever experience freedom and might possibly end up in hell for eternity, that is their main goal.). I just hope that you understand that sexual sin opens your spirit up to a bunch of spiritual bondage, stuff that ONLY Jesus Christ has the power to set you free from. I pray that if you have issues with anything that you are not able to stop then you will call on the name of the Lord.
Jesus says that Ye ask, and receive not because ye ask amiss, that ye may comsume it upon your lusts. Jam4:3
So, ask Him, He will answer you and take care of you.

That was only the beginning of a wonderful walk with the Lord, because He was not(and still isn't) done with me!
God bless you all.

1 comment:

Amy said...

Hellllooooo - Where did you goooooooooo?